Malt Mechanics very unofficial home brew competition conical giveaway

[Nicholas Jones]

This one is for the guy who asked for a factory second on our facebook...

My shed is full, my brewery is suitably kitted with the latest MM wares, and it is thus that I propose a ridiculous proposition. There may be scandal, back-handers and blatant flouting of the laws, and of course I, being the sole unqualified judge will surely skew the ledger in favour of whatever I so choose fulfills my somewhat irreverent taste in beer.

I could of course sell them, and pocket a tidy sum, but wherein lies the fun? So fellow brewers I offer up not one, but 5 cone-shaped vessels in various states of operational capability, one of which could be yours all in exchange for the (saison-esque) sweat from your brow, cunningly packaged as 2 single bottles of home-brewed beer. See image attached for the 5 prizes on offer. In descending prize value from left to right, there are 2 pre-loved (clean!) 60L on the left, an unused 30L in the centre, minus take-off holes, an incomplete 30 second from right, and an early 30 I found stashed in my office this arvo. What you see is what is on offer.

The conditions are simple. Send me your beer, and I will drink it, not a mere sip, but likely the whole bottle, or both if its really good... And hence, I will rank accordingly, relying on my beer-hazed memory (this will not be a one-day judging affair) and enthusiasm of the time, and of course whatever notes I may or may not take. There will be no BJCP guidlelines, no impartiality, and no correspondence entered into, unless of course you invoke it.. Labels are fine (lion red bottles may be looked upon favorably as representative of the complexity of your character..), your name may or may not add points, a picture of your wife, your brewery or your boat may also be considered 'value-add'. Excessive yeast for harvesting is also welcome.

Entries close March 25th, or whenever I feel I have enough beer to make up for my recent lack of brewing. Entries can be posted to: Nick Jones, Indemic Ltd, Unit F, Level 2, 31a Bartley Tce, Devonport, Auckland. Should you 'win' something, freight/collect is at your cost. Post below if you intend to enter, look forward to a few laughs! I may even save some entries for a communal gathering of contestants, should I be able to exhibit such self-control...

[Tim Low]

I'm in!

Any inside tips as to style preferences that may make a judge partial?

[Nicholas Jones]

Shit that would be cheating... Saison, IPA, Porter, ESB, kolsch, brown, spiced/herbed actually anything that is not overly well represented at the bottle store might add browny points too! Just something well brewed Tim. Cheers

[Paul Kelleher]

I'm keen. Well have to bottle from the keg but will gas up a wee but more to compensate first. Can I check the judges interest in lagers?

[Nicholas Jones]

The judge is partial to a fine lager, in fact not often I get to taste a home-brewed example as Im a lazy ale whore.

[paul m]

cool, I've got a Californian common just finishing in the fermenter. fingers crossed

[Tom]

I'll have a crack too. Can we enter with 2 different styles?

[Nicholas Jones]

Tom, what you are asking is whether you can send me more beer. The answer is yes.

[Tom]

That's correct.

[Nathan]

Oh and can we suggest what conical we want?........Id like a 30l one

[Nicholas Jones]

Hey Nathan, good idea, no point giving people who want a 30 a 60 and vice versa. Probably Ill just sort that out at the end when Ive decided the 5 best beers, but throw your preference down.

[James Guilford]

I have 1 x 750ml bottle of a nice Porter that would be worth sharing. The other dozen is a horrid Pale Ale that went very wrong. You would be better off sending me a conical to not give you my beer, unless a pint can be counted as two stubbies then I can send the good stuff.

[Nicholas Jones]

I have drunk enough shit beer, send me your porter James, if you can part with it.