Malt Mechanics very unofficial home brew competition conical giveaway

[Nicholas Jones]

This one is for the guy who asked for a factory second on our facebook...

My shed is full, my brewery is suitably kitted with the latest MM wares, and it is thus that I propose a ridiculous proposition. There may be scandal, back-handers and blatant flouting of the laws, and of course I, being the sole unqualified judge will surely skew the ledger in favour of whatever I so choose fulfills my somewhat irreverent taste in beer.

I could of course sell them, and pocket a tidy sum, but wherein lies the fun? So fellow brewers I offer up not one, but 5 cone-shaped vessels in various states of operational capability, one of which could be yours all in exchange for the (saison-esque) sweat from your brow, cunningly packaged as 2 single bottles of home-brewed beer. See image attached for the 5 prizes on offer. In descending prize value from left to right, there are 2 pre-loved (clean!) 60L on the left, an unused 30L in the centre, minus take-off holes, an incomplete 30 second from right, and an early 30 I found stashed in my office this arvo. What you see is what is on offer.

The conditions are simple. Send me your beer, and I will drink it, not a mere sip, but likely the whole bottle, or both if its really good... And hence, I will rank accordingly, relying on my beer-hazed memory (this will not be a one-day judging affair) and enthusiasm of the time, and of course whatever notes I may or may not take. There will be no BJCP guidlelines, no impartiality, and no correspondence entered into, unless of course you invoke it.. Labels are fine (lion red bottles may be looked upon favorably as representative of the complexity of your character..), your name may or may not add points, a picture of your wife, your brewery or your boat may also be considered 'value-add'. Excessive yeast for harvesting is also welcome.

Entries close March 25th, or whenever I feel I have enough beer to make up for my recent lack of brewing. Entries can be posted to: Nick Jones, Indemic Ltd, Unit F, Level 2, 31a Bartley Tce, Devonport, Auckland. Should you 'win' something, freight/collect is at your cost. Post below if you intend to enter, look forward to a few laughs! I may even save some entries for a communal gathering of contestants, should I be able to exhibit such self-control...

[Mr Agsy]

Yep count me in, I have a German style lager all bottled, it should have been lagered for around 5-6 weeks by the time it reaches you.

I also have a Belgian triple that's just nearing the end of fermenting, I don't think it will be ready in time mate as it needs around 3- 5 months to mellow as its 8 % abv.. But if you're not too fussed on drinking it green then I could send one up too.

[Nicholas Jones]

You could send one for me to age, that would be considered as bribery, and fair play! But seriously, if you want it judged and dont think its ready then its probably a waste of potentially good beer

[integersmirk]

I will play! 

[Paul Rogers]

I'll be in like a robbers dog. Would love to get my sticky little paws on another one of these Nick. The 30L MM I have is brilliant but bigger will go nicely with my new build. I'll shift some bottles by courier next week. Was guna try and score some brownie points with a photo of the wife but she busted me taking photo's of her in the shower so might have to send pic of the pouch instead!!!

[Nicholas Jones]

Haha, good work Paul. Keep the photo of your balls you grubby bastard, I can in no way see this adding value to your entry!

[Paul Rogers]

Get your mind out of the gutter Nick. When I said i'll send a pic of the pouch I meant the dog not me bloody nut sack!!! Mind you sent me bottles off today and did include a pic of the neighbors wife wait to you see that its bloody hilarious.  

[Paul Rogers]

No wonder you were a little bit confused!!! I meant pooch not pouch. Should have paid attention at school.

[Nicholas Jones]

Im in China next week for the week so if your entries turn up to the office I will only be able to confirm arrival the following week, which obviously means the 25th of March is a very loose closing date... ;)

[Nathan]

Cool as Ive been the the USA for a week and havent got my A in G to get some sent to you but will do before the end of week......Hope this is ok?

[Nicholas Jones]

All good Nathan!

[Tim Low]

Does that mean it's not too late to slide in a last minute entry or two?

[Nicholas Jones]

Slide away Tim. I wont be going through them until next week at least.